100 reasons WHY I *want* to reach my goal weight + 1 powerful reason why I WILL!
Hahaha! “To feel like a badass” isn’t actually on my list, but it gave me a laugh when I saw this photo!
When I was 110kg my reason WHY for losing weight was “Because I do not want to die!“. Powerful stuff at the time but less of an actual reason now as the immediate threat to my health is gone now that I am in a healthy weight range with blood pressure down to normal. Now I have a relatively small amount left to lose and really, it’s not do or die as it was when started this adventure. So, I needed to think about the WHY lose weight…
I took on this homework task from Jodie and I wrote the first 50 and thought “Hmm. That’s really not scratched the surface.” So I put it aside and thought on it a while. I needed to be in a place where I felt strong enough to let some of the more confronting and gut-wrenchingly honest reasons emerge. I came back to it late last week and wrote another 50 reasons – digging deeper. I came up with 100 reasons WHY … then one more… and that’s what made the difference!
- For ME!
- To finish what I started
- To be the best version of me I can be
- To look better
- To feel better
- To be healthy
- To reveal more muscles
- To be under BMI 23
- To have waist well & truly under 80cm – not just under, well under
- To show those who said “You Can’t” that I can & I did
- To make the nasty, insecure women I have encountered over my lifetime self combust with jealousy or whatever their problem is
- Because I can
- To look fantastic in photos
- To walk my talk
- So my clothes fit better
- So I have a choice of any clothes from any store
- To look better naked
- To not be self conscious about how I look when I am exercising
- To be ready for surgery when I need it
- To be able to have babies if we choose to
- To say ‘sucked in’ to the ex-boyfriends who said things like “You know…you would be hot if only you lost weight“
- To not be the fat friend
- To not be the fat girl who gets told ‘Oh but you have a pretty face’
- So no one ever calls me a big girl or big boned ever again
- So I am not always self conscious about my stomach
- To lose the back fat
- So that I can be a role model for the people I care about
- So that I can inspire others to make the changes I have made
- So I can sashay instead of waddle! haha
- So people will not look at me in that ‘What a shame you are so fat’ way again
- To not be asked if I am pregnant
- To be able to run or train in a crop top
- To keep my blood pressure down
- To lower my cardiovascular risk
- To reduce my risk of type 2 diabetes
- To be able to say I have never been this weight as an adult
- To say I have never been so happy with my body
- To not hide from the camera or cringe when my photos s taken
- Because I deserve it. I am worth it.
- To invest in gorgeous clothes and know they will fit for a long time because I am done losing weight.
- To not care if that bitchy girl picks the worst photo of me she can to share with the world
- To go on a shopping spree to buy whatever I like, not restricted to ‘Big Girl’ stores
- To show those people who say with that loaded tone “So are you *still* on that fitness weight loss kick” that this is for life
- To show those who have tried to sabotage my efforts to be healthy and fit that it will not work – now or ever
- To have some more stylist sessions and feel confident to wear whatever they recommend.
- To be able to experiment more with fashion
- To wear a bikini in public
- To wear a bikini in public AND to not care if someone takes a photo
- To feel great and look great when on holidays in Thailand
- To feel comfortable in my own skin
- To not have to suck my gut in
- To no longer need to spend emotional, financial, psychological or physical resources on losing weight (time, energy, money etc)
- To get my body fat under 24%
- To have the wedding dress of my dreams, if I choose to have a wedding
- To not dread the idea of photos from special occasions
- To leave that fat chick who’s held me back for my entire life well in my past
- To get that inner fat chick out of my brain
- To get rid of my chubby tummy, spare tyre, chunky trunk, Buddha belly that I have spent my entire life embarrassed about and trying to hide.
- To not have a fat stomach there for people to poke at & tease (as a child) or to ask if pregnant (as an adult).
- To not have people comment “You are far too smart to let yourself be so burnt out & unwell & obese.“
- To be able to walk into any store and know that something will fit me – I don’t care what the size tag says, I just care that I am not limited to big girl stores and kaftans
- To reveal the muscles I have been working hard to build
- To minimise musculoskeletal issues as I age
- To turn heads for that second look instead of getting the “What were you thinking look“.
- To lower my risk of breast cancer
- To lower my risk of bowel and colon cancer
- To add more years to my life and put more life in my years (For Mel )
- To reach this goal so I can tick it off my list and use the massive amounts of energy it is taking for other goals.
- So that my waist is smaller than my hips
- To never be called fat again. To never cringe at the sound of that three letter F-word.
- To leave the bullying, name calling and teasing about my size, shape and weight in the past knowing that it’s no longer the truth.
- To not have to endure a polite person humouring me by saying “You are just big boned”
- So that tumours and growths can be detected – I never again want to hear a Doctor say ‘Well you are a Big Girl and so you could have something there but we just cannot detect that because you are obese“.
- For the after photo that will eclipse the severely obese images of myself burnt into my brain
- To not be looked at the way people looked at me when I was 110kg
- To not be part of the growing obesity epidemic, that’s one trend I am not keen to be part of!
- To feel comfortable to any activity I want – not worry will I break that swing or will I fit on the roller coaster
- To never have that ‘You need to lose weight‘ conversation with a medical professional again
- To not stand and lecture my medical students about health, obesity etc as a severely obese or even overweight person – what a total hypocrite I was!
- So I do not mind telling people how much I weigh, do not cringe when asked for medical reasons
- To get a regular towel around me, not need a beach towel.
- To not be self conscious when eating in public and not think people are looking and thinking “If I was as fat as you I would not be eating THAT!“
- To not avoid or hesitate before sitting on my partners lap
- To not cringe when my partner touches my stomach
- To not be heavier, bigger, wider than my partner
- To not have rolls of fat when I bend over or sit down
- To control what I can control – there are health issues I have that I have limited control over, but losing weight and increasing fitness goes a long way to dealing with these
- So my fave jeans are not too tight (and maybe I can even get a smaller, new pair of sass n bides!)
- To wear sleeveless tops and dresses and not be self conscious
- To treat myself to gorgeous lingerie and not be self conscious about walking into a lingerie shop
- To be able to be piggy backed (That one is for Kate M!)
- To be able to wear a bikini and short shorts at a music festival
- To let go of the past version of myself and embrace the healthy version
- To sit in any chair without checking it first or feeling my bulky frame touch the sides or spill over
- To be graceful when entering a room rather than feeling like a baby elephant thundering in and taking up too much space
- To become a health professional who is not a hypocrite
- So I will head into my 40s in the best shape of my life
- To not be embarrassed about any part of my body
- To have nothing holding me back from living the life I now dare to dream is possible!
And number 100: So I can get off & stay off the f**king sidelines of life!!
There you have it. These are all reasons why I want to be at my goal weight. Why it is desirable. 100 reasons why I desire that outcome.
Call me a perfectionist, call me what you want. I realised something:
IT IS NOT ENOUGH.
I started out writing this list aiming for 50… I got there and thought “I can dig deeper, I am not feeling this, I am not yet compelled by this list. It’s just stuff or material things”. I had to leave the task alone for a bit and think.. then I got to 100 and still was not happy.
Then it went CLICK. The light bulb switched on.
I realised – these are all great reasons. Individually each are relatively small things to help motivate me or remind me why I am focussing on this goal. As a whole list it’s fantastic – there’s a mix of health, fitness, body image / appearance, financial, social and other reasons. It is comprehensive.
But still… I read over and thought: IT’S NOT ENOUGH.
Then I came up with the single most powerful reasons why I WILL reach my weight loss goal:
Freedom from that list above. Freedom from all those thoughts. Freedom to use my energy for something other than this.
So – I guess I have 101 reasons to reach my goal weight… but 1 single reason is far more powerful than the other 100 combined.
The reason I will reach my weight loss goal is FREEDOM.
How about you? What reasons are on YOUR list?